Your dad knew how to rage before you did and his friends are still afraid to give him whiskey because of it. At about half past tipsy, the quiet giant bear child awoke from his sober slumber and became a shit ripping, F5 party tornado. Blacked out and filled with mistakes, he went down in party history each night his alter ego was released. His actions became party folk lore, making him the Johnny Appleseed of getting gnar balls.
So hipsters, next time you’re recanting a tale of intoxicated past and bragging about how awesome you were the previous night, remember this…
Your dad is the patron saint partying and the reason the term “that guy” exists.
(via ryanamusements)
(via celestialfaun)
my period is 6 days late and my tits feel like they’re about to fall off my torso and i’m permanently horny it’s like i have a ticking time bob in my fucking uterus
someone come kiss me i’ll pay you
(Source : allpathslead, via lushious)
i opened my window and a bumble bee strolled in and i’m not sure whether i should befriend it or run away screaming violently
(Source : jazminemalkin, via happyphantom)
(Source : divineofficial, via femmetrash)
(Source : zetlammaltez, via einsteinonacid)
Hans Zatzka (1859-1945) - Water nymph
(Source : jansantiques.com, via anahorish)
(Source : talkamongstthetrees, via hyperbeam)
Anonyme a demandé: i wanna rub you up with hummus, my chickpea, and lick it all around, and when you cum you'll make a great sound as the hummus spurts all around
is this how you get all the girls
i finished this painting two days ago but i couldn’t be arsed to take a picture of it
it’s about 70cm x 70cm fabric painted with acrylics and it was a bitch to paint in this heat